


Of Odes and Elegies

by fineinthemorning



Series: Poems [5]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Analysis, Drug Abuse, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Non-Chronological, Original Character(s), Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-07-29 18:58:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7695655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fineinthemorning/pseuds/fineinthemorning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What's going on in the minds of those left to their own devices? When no one is around to see, what happens between those who keep secrets? Kaneki is not the protagonist of this story, so does that mean it won't end in tragedy? Everyone has a song to sing regardless of who is listening.</p><p>These are a series of side-stories/drabbles that take place during the Poems series.  Chapter titles are dates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jan 2

**Author's Note:**

> I've done a lot of side drabbles in the poems-verse that take place later in the series. OTL I will be uploading drabbles here as the dates come up in the main story. Basically, they're things that either myself or others wanted explored, but I couldn't find a place for it in the main story line. I hope you can enjoy them. :D

“I don’t think you’re trusting us.” Shirazu had come out of the garage and had been watching Sasaki move about the kitchen these past few minutes. When his mentor turned around to face him, only slightly alarmed, Shirazu put it more bluntly, “You’re not trusting me, Sasan.”

The truth was, Ginshi hated brooding. He hated thinking about the things that were going wrong and doing nothing about them. He hated wasting time on negative things, but . . . it was actually pretty easy for him to do. It was actually an extremely bad habit he had depending on the severity of the issue. He worried about his family, mostly, and Sasaki was a part of that now; the Quinx Squad were like a second family. He’d tried to clear his mind, but his brain just went back to seeing his only _real_ father figure flicking a syringe and cutting through his own skin too doped up to move his mouth to speak.

Who knew what was going on with him and Shiba today? Shirazu just assumed it was some kind of drug deal. He wasn’t stupid. Sasaki was trying to protect him from what he was doing, because what he was doing was _wrong_.

“Shirazu . . .” Sasaki’s expression went through a series of emotions- alarm, confusion, understanding, determination. It settled on concern. He scratched at his left wrist without thinking.

“I’m not gonna pressure you but-” Shirazu realized then that his abrupt questioning probably sounded like an attack- a threat even, maybe. He’d said it back then, anyway. If Sasaki tried to do all of this alone, or something, if he continued hurting himself, then Shirazu would request Arima’s help.

On some level, he knew Sasaki feared Special Class Arima- everyone did. But, a lot of people trusted him, too, Sasaki for sure. People depended on the strong. Shirazu admired that both in Arima and in Sasaki; he hoped he could be the same for others one day.

“No, I understand . . . You threatened me once.” Shirazu visibly flinched. So, Sasan _had_ taken that as a threat? Ginshi partly felt guilty and partly felt like it was rightfully so- whatever made Sasaki take him seriously.

Kaneki appeared to notice his grimace but went on. He did feel somewhat bound to him now, but not because of the threat; the truth of the matter was that he didn’t want to lose Shirazu’s trust. Shirazu had an overwhelming amount of faith in him and though it was mostly misplaced, Kaneki _did_ want to live up to those expectations. “I’m not going to put you in a position where you have to do so again.” Sasaki paused in front of the open refrigerator, pulled out a few ingredients, and waved Shirazu over. Shirazu obeyed, and when they were side by side with a cutting board in front of them, Kaneki said quietly, “Yes. Yes, I knew Serpent. He was my senpai in college when I went to Kamii. . . . We weren’t close, really.” They’d gotten to know each other a little better working together at Anteiku, and he considered him someone worth protecting. Nishio was a part of many fond memories there.

“He went to Kamii?” Shirazu turned to look at Sasaki, surprise evident in his whole being.

“Yes,” Sasaki washed two carrots and handed them to Shirazu.

Ginshi put them on the cutting board, but didn’t begin cutting them. He made sure to keep his voice down, “But he is a ghoul.”

Kaneki smiled gently at him, “Ghouls can be intelligent.” He took the knife back and modeled cutting the carrots before handing the knife back. “They can attend university.”

Shirazu blushed suddenly, “Sorry, that’s not what I meant.” He meant it would be difficult and risky. It made him feel guilty over how he’d treated his own education.

Sasaki waved it off. Deciding Shirazu wasn’t quite ready for it, he went to cutting the beef into cubes on the opposite counter. He hoped the scent wouldn’t upset Shirazu too badly, but he reminded himself that this was something he’d have to get used to.

“Why couldn’t you just tell us?” Shirazu stared at the carrot slices he had accomplished so far. Maybe he could cut more slowly. They were all so uneven.

From the opposite counter, Kaneki admitted, barely above a whisper, “I’m worried about the four of you . . . being involved with me.”

Shirazu sighed. “I get it.”

“What?” Sasaki turned away from the meat to look at Shirazu’s back.

Shirazu heard him move and turned around as well, a hand on the back of his neck. His eyes didn’t meet Sasaki’s; he was embarrassed. “That’s why you sent me out of the room earlier today too, right?”

Kaneki was silent. He would have expected such insight from Mutsuki, but not from Shirazu.

Ginshi went on, trying his best to sound confident, “You can’t do everything by yourself. You’re right; things are really shitty for you at the CCG and- hell- life in general, I guess, but-”

“But-” Kaneki started to speak but Shirazu cut him off.

“Please don’t do this alone.” The squad leader’s eyes met Sasaki’s- something earnest and eternally well-meaning in them.

Sasaki smiled, “Thank you, Shirazu.”

The squad leader waved it off and turned back around to his terribly uneven carrots and grabbed for the washed and peeled onion, “Nah, it’s nothing. I really fucked up at Bonenkai.” He wondered how that guy could have been Sasaki’s best friend at one point. The whole thing had convinced Shirazu that it was true that all Washuus were bastards.

Kaneki gave a delayed response, “Oh that? No, in a way . . . I think he feels the way I feel about the four of you but towards me.”

“Then you should get me,” Ginshi said quickly.

Sasaki laughed at that. “Or, what I’m involved with is just that dangerous.” Shirazu’s simple logic made sense. It was true. If Sasaki knew what it was like to be shut out in the name of being protected, then he would realize how awful it felt for those being left out. Still, he was firm in his decision because the risks really were too great. Still, he couldn’t imagine what Hide was involved in was any more dangerous than Kaneki himself.

“You’re not making this easier Sasan,” Shirazu’s brow was knit as he focused on trying to cut the onion.

Sasaki smiled still as he tossed the diced meat into the pot on the stove, “Sorry, sorry!” And with that, he’d declared the discussion over, “Now, I’m feeling nostalgic, so I’m going to put some music on.”

“Nostalgic?” Was it because he’d brought up Hideyoshi Washuu? Shirazu put down the knife. _Nostalgic._ He understood. Maybe Sasaki wasn’t comfortable with sharing everything; maybe he didn’t want to go into details. Still, he was making an effort. He was _trying_. Ginshi realized then that Sasaki actually _wanted_ to trust him and likely the rest of the Quinx, too. Maybe, Ginshi just needed to be more patient.

Kaneki washed his hands, pulled out his phone, and tapped away at the screen until _‘I Want it That Way’_ started playing. He set it down on the counter that separated the kitchen and the dining room.

“Let’s get dinner started!”


	2. Dec 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, these are the partner peer reviews assigned before the Quinx left for surgery. I took the idea and format from the diary entries they had to do in canon. :D

Name: Yonebayashi Saiko-chan

Date: Dec17 Due Date: Dec18

Assignment: Grade Kuki-chan

Grade: Kupo (FFXIV)

Explanation of Grade: On a scale from Final Fantasy VI (being the best) and Final Fantasy XIII (being the worst), I’d rank him Final Fantasy XIV. See, he got off to a really rocky start with a lot of bugs and updates that left servers crashing. Most people who worked with him were unsatisfied with his failure to make good on promises and his potential that appeared to be entirely untapped. But with the added guidance and expertise of myself, like when XIV was moved to the PS4, I was able to influence his development for the better and now, he has the potential to be very successful for years to come. He has given continuous updates that are both thoughtful and meaningful to plot and players/team members, and his overall performance and game play skills as an investigator have improved. 

Still, there is a lot of room to grow. He may have a lot of possibility as far as where he could be headed, but fighting time is a losing battle. Eventually, players will move on to other games like Skyrim if something new isn’t incorporated or, at least if he doesn’t change to fit the growing need for stimulation as desired from the players. 

( _Look, Maman, I did my homework!_ )

Comments: I think I understand what you mean, Yonebayashi, but please try and take this a little more seriously. You shouldn’t be referencing video games on documents that are turned in to your boss and filed as reports. I expect an improvement in the future.

( _That’s very good, Saiko-chan; let’s strive to continue improving._ )

* * *

 

Name: Mutsuki Tooru

Date: Dec16 Due Date: Dec 18

Assignment: Peer Review of Rank 2 Shirazu Ginishi

Grade: A

Explanation of Grade: Shirazu is a very focused leader but often acts before thinking. He is honest and unable to tell a lie, but even that can make him seem untrustworthy if he doesn’t divulge what he is attempting to hide. He is always thinking about the team and puts his teammates even before himself, which can be a risk since the team needs him to guide them and motivate them to come together. He knows his teammates pretty well and tries to be thoughtful of them; even if he is stubborn and can be a bit forward, he is a pretty great guy and is very well-meaning. I can’t really give any specific examples, because I can’t really recall any off the bat, but, well, this is what I’ve observed. 

Comments: This is very thoughtful, Mutsuki. Thank you for your feedback. Have you told Shirazu your thoughts on his abilities as a leader? He would be pleased to hear them.

* * *

 

Name: Ginshi Shirazu

Date: Dec18 Due Date: Dec18

Assignment: Mutsuki’s Grade for Partnering with Me?

Grade: A (for Awesome)

Explanation of Grade: Mutsuki is fucking great. He’s awesome with knives and stamina and tactics. He taught me a lot of stuff about analyzing a situation before acting on like, what I wanted to do right away. He’s pretty awesome. He is great for the team. He’s pretty much good at everything and really nice. 

Comments: This is really vague, but I’m glad you get along so well and you felt this was a great learning experience. Also, please be cautious with your language.

* * *

 

Name: Rank 2 Urie Kuki

Date: Dec17 Due Date: Dec18

Assignment: Review of Yonebayashi Saiko

Grade: B

Explanation of Grade: Yonebashi is better than she was. I don’t have time for this nonsense.

Comments: I’m glad you feel she has improved, but I expect a revised, completed report by next week, Urie.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Feel free to let me know if there are any characters you want explored more or relationships you think are not being addressed in the main story. So far, I have something with Koori, Matsuri, and the Quinx (as a whole) planned.  
> Haha, consider this a place to drop omakes, basically.


End file.
